


The Void

by Nicarus_Nichols



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:43:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3227936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicarus_Nichols/pseuds/Nicarus_Nichols





	The Void

It’s been days since Nicky had last seen her, but she was all she could think about. One too many mistakes and mornings filled with heartbreak. She knew what she did was wrong, swore she’d never fall for her again. However, here we are at 3 am where all her feelings play back in her head over and over again. Lorna had a boyfriend, but even that didn’t stop Nicky he was just an obstacle that didn’t exist when they were together, well until he’d text Lorna and the pang of heartache would hit her again. Nicky wasn’t the jealous type, but the thought of Lorna wrapped in his arms hurt her to her very core. It had been about 2 years now and she still didn’t know if she liked her or just like the feeling that cheery idiot with red lipstick gave her, or that look and smile that made her feel like she was the most important person in the room. It wasn’t until the day that Nicky had decided to kiss her that things had gone all wrong.  
It was the end of they’re junior year of high school she had known of Lorna for some time now, but they had never really talked, although they had had some classes together. After a couple of classes and an introduction from a mutual friend they became close and of course Nicky had gotten flirty, that was just in her nature, but so had Lorna. Being the funny and flirty gal that she was she decided to make some advances towards the other girl, when her advances were returned instead of repulsed is when she should have known she was in too deep. For a while it was all great she’d spend time with Lorna and her friends, however she had made the big mistake of introducing her to friend Christopher. Although, Nicky and Christopher had been friends for a while and he was like a brother to her, a couple of days after Nicky had confessed to him that she may have fallen in love with the smaller brunette, he went and swept Lorna off her feet. After that they began competing for Lorna’s affection, although Nicky knew she was taken she decided she wasn’t gonna take no for answer. However, after a few months of heart ache and heavy competition, which lead into her senior year and she had finally had enough. She began by reapplying herself in classes and regaining some of the happiness that she had lacked for the past few months, while avoiding Lorna and Christopher at all cost. Not because she hated them, but just because it was easier to forget and move on then hold on to what could have been. Nicky’s tactics had begun to work and things were going great up until her schedule change that lead to her facing the happy couple every other morning and at the end of the day. However, she tried and make the best of it, hanging out with Gina, Boo, and her best friend Alex (another one of the girl’s she had sadly fallen in love with) had made things easier, especially after graduation when she began going to school in the city.  
Everything was going great and she was having a great time in college, she’d even met a bunch of new friends and besides the subway ride to school it was the happiest she had been, until a couple months ago when Lorna began to talk to her again. That’s when things changed Nicky had tried her hardest mastering “the art of shutting people off,” but it was so hard to not want to let Lorna back in, so she thought they could just be friends, after months of not seeing each other and false promises of hanging out it would be easy. At first it was, she didn’t have to see her every day or even talk for that matter, a text here and there wasn’t a problem, well not until the flirting began. Unfortunately Nicky’s predisposition of being the “bean- flicking mother Teresa” she claimed to be lead to the same heavy flirting that 2 years ago had lead her into the huge void she had just gotten out of. However, it hadn’t escalated further, she even stopped trying to make advances at Lorna while they hung out, but once Christmas flew around she couldn’t help but want to be closer to her while they spent the holiday with Nicky’s family. It may have been the closeness or perhaps the holiday spirit the ignited that flame she thought had died, but hell if she didn’t feel comforted by its warmth. 

It’s been a month now that the crazy affair had started and Nicky eats it up during the day enjoying the company and warmth given to by the smaller girl as they make out or cuddle on her bed or couch with few interruptions. It’s all almost second nature to them, or her, she’s not quite sure yet, but she knows it’s something she enjoys until she’s left alone in the dark of her days. “Does she love me?” “Does she love him?” “Is this all just one big fucked up game?” Are the questions that fill her head during insomniac nights. Once her slumber was actually disturbed by the thought of the girl she loved? No liked a lot? Getting married and having her dream wedding with Christopher, which made her sad, but also say well I hope they’ll be happy. Nicky didn’t know if she liked the pain of Lorna’s “love” or the fact that it made her feel something more than indifference. However, none it stopped her and now here she is again in a smaller void than before with the feeling of Lorna’s lips on her neck and parts of her body while she knows the smaller brunette is tucked up somewhere in her room with thoughts of Christopher floating in her head like sugarplums as Nicky slowly slips back into the void.


End file.
